Emergency Alert System - The Troll Virus
by Blue Raspberry Ametrine
Summary: Patients have been checking into Kisper Memorial Hospital with an unknown disease. Symptoms include gray skin, yellow eyes, and intense headaches. This is a collection of radio transcripts and EAS Warnings detailing the progression of the new Troll Virus.
1. Transcript: Amber and Toby Part I

**Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck and any other names mentioned are fictional.**

 **Transcript: Amber and Toby, Part I**

 **Date: April 13th, 2019**

 **Time: 9:01 AM**

 **Location: Dreamer's Respite, WA**

Amber: -And that was Gold Heart Six with their new hit single _Bring the Music Back,_ which they certainly _have_ brought back.

Toby: Until now, because like all good things, music must come to an end!

Amber: Yes, true. Welcome back to the Amber and Toby show. Glad you're all tuning in to Broadcast 100.3 once again for the best of banter and heartfelt advice.

Toby: Speaking of advice, I was wondering, have you heard of any new cold or sickness going around? I think I've caught something but I'm not sure what.

Amber: You know, I was just thinking you looked a little sick today. Not that they would know, of course, but… (both laugh.) Have you been to the doctor?

Toby: Yeah, and she said I was just sick and that I shouldn't worry.

Amber: Well, if you're still well enough to come in for work, I bet it can't be too bad, right?

Toby: Sure, but I've got a bad headache. Like something is trying to poke out of my skull.

Amber: That would explain why you're not bouncing off the walls like usual.

Toby: Come on! Do you _really_ need to roast me right now?

Amber: Hey, laughter is the best medicine, right?

Toby: (Sighs) Fine, good point.

Amber: Have you been having any other symptoms? Sorry to bore everybody listening, but maybe you'll need to watch out for this.

Toby: No, I don't think so. But you said I _looked_ sick?

Amber: Yeah, you're a little paler than usual, and your eyes are a bit watery... otherwise, I think you're fine. Maybe you just need some more sunlight?

Toby: You think after last summers... incident I _want_ to stand out in the sun?

Amber: You mean the time you fell asleep at the beach and forgot sunscreen and-

Toby: Yep, that's the one.

Amber: That was a riot!

Toby: Sure it was.

Amber: Honestly, I'm no doctor, but I think it's just the flu or something.

Toby: Yeah, I hope so.

Amber: What _I_ hope is that it isn't contagious. I don't need you cooties in me.

Toby: Is that really the best comment you've got?

Amber: Yeah, you're right. After five years with you, I'm already immune to your cooties, so that's a moot point.

Toby: Do you not have any sympathy? The only reason I didn't take a sick day is because I knew you couldn't carry this show on your own!

Amber: Now that's just low, Toby. I can't _believe_ you. (Toby groans.) Anyway, if you see Toby out on the streets, be sure to stay away, just in case.

Toby: That isn't helping!


	2. We Interrupt This Broadcast

**We Interrupt This Message**

 **Date: April 13th, 2019**

 **Time: 4:13 PM**

 **Location: Dreamer's Respite, WA**

This station has interrupted its regular programming for a disease warning for your area. This message is being transmitted at the request of the local government. This is not a test. Please stand by for more information.

A new unnamed virus was found at the Kisper Memorial Hospital this morning. Known symptoms of the virus are intense headaches, gray-tinted skin, yellowing of the sclera, mouth pain, blackening of lips, and in extreme cases, strong thirst, changes in blood pressure and volume, and sudden aggression. It is believed this virus originally came from either moose, deer, or bulls, and has evolved to infect humans.

So far, this virus has been found in at least ten patients and has been shown to spread through bodily fluids, such as mucus, vomit, and blood. The blood of these patients may have an unusual tint. Only a few seconds of contact is needed to become infected.

If you or a loved one has most of these symptoms, you are encouraged to check into the Kisper Memorial Hospital for treatment. As of now, there is no pandemic warning and no one has died of this virus, but it is still advised to stay on high alert as to avoid infection, as it is still unknown how severe this disease can become, and if there is a chance of it becoming lethal.

It is advised to wear masks when speaking with the infected and avoid contact with any bodily fluids.

Regular programming may now continue.


	3. Unrelated News

**Unrelated News**

 **Date: April 14th, 2019**

 **Time: 7:00 AM**

 **Location: Dreamer's Respite, WA**

This station has interrupted its regular programming for a civil unrest warning for your area. This message is being transmitted at the request of the local government. This is not a test. Please stand by for more information.

Mysterious gray figures have been spotted across town. In most reports, they are wearing black clothing, typically hoodies, and some have bright orange horns.

It is unknown what the intentions of these people are, but it is possible they could be part of a gang or some other group with malicious intent. Some claim they might be related to the new disease spreading, though this is unconfirmed and unlikely.

At the time being, it is recommended to avoid these people, and report sightings to the police. If you see one, take a different route, and stay in brightly-lit areas until the situation has been resolved.

Regular programming may now resume.


	4. Horns

**Horns**

 **Date: April 15th, 2019**

 **Time: 6:12 AM**

 **Location: Dreamer's Respite, WA**

This station has interrupted its regular programming for a disease warning for your area. The as-of-now unnamed virus reported two days ago is continuing to spread, now at a more rapid pace, and has been observed to be airborne as well as spread through bodily fluids.

After forty-eight hours, the disease progresses from the original symptoms to the point where the skin of the infected becomes completely gray, their eyes a golden yellow color, and they begin sprouting brightly-colored horns from their forehead or temples.

Some cases have shown blood turning a variety of colors, with either a darkening of the original color or a rusty orange tone the most common, but yellow, green, blue, and purple have all been observed. With the transformation, the infected also grow fangs and developed increased aggression. These patients match the description of the figures seen reported yesterday, and it is assumed they are also victims of the virus.

Some infected females with dark green blood request to drink the blood of others and will try to convert any unarmed visitors, typically through bites to the neck. Those with blue and purple blood have become very violent, and at least three murders committed by the infected have been confirmed. While all who have been checked into the hospital remain there and have none have escaped, there are still individuals matching these descriptions seen on the street, and they may be violent.

So far, no fatalities have been reported that came directly from being infected, but it is still a dangerous virus, and the transformation takes two days of excruciating pain.

It is recommended that all citizens in the Respite area stay in their homes and turn off all air conditioners or heating systems. Close all windows and doors, and keep a battery-powered radio with you to hear latest updates. Make sure you have enough food for at least three days.

If you or someone in your house has these symptoms, tie a white towel around your doorknob or mailbox, and local authorities will escort you to the hospital for treatment. If an infected person with gray skin and bright horns tries to enter your house, do not let them in, as they could very easily have malicious intentions.

Regular programming may now resume.


End file.
